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Naked Party
The human body is perhaps never so pure in it's elegance and beauty
as it is when presented in the nude. It is beyond our faculties to understand
why so many refuse to accept this absolute truth, cowering in fear when
confronted with an individual sans fabric of any sort. Perhaps they
simply haven't been introduced to the joys of nakedness in quite the
right atmosphere. It is time that situation is rectified. Your authors
have done all they can to foster a comfort  zone
of nudity within the confines of their own social circle. However, we
simply can not do it alone. It is up to you, kindly reader. It is time
for you to throw... a Naked Party.
The party itself is a rather simple affair. Imagine, if you will, a
run of the mill gathering, a house warming party, a birthday celebration,
in which each and every one of the guests is completely and unabashedly
naked as jay birds. (What the hell does that mean?!) Once such visions
are securely locked in your conscious, the party itself takes care of
itself. Be up front with your guests. Explain to them the nature of
the  evening,
soothing fears and stroking egos, and impress upon them the reality
that all that is truly required of them is the unveiling of the flesh
they so lovingly louffa in the shower each and every morning.
Guests should not come to the party in the buff, however. Those wishing
to do so should be reminded of the difficulties one can encounter when
completely naked and pulled to the side of the road for some traffic
violation of some sort. The words party and bail do not tend to dance
harmoniously together in the grand scheme of life. You should further
not expect invitees to disrobe immediately upon entering your home.
Ease into things. Phrases like "lets see that schlong, Brad" or "time
to finally get a peek at that hairy bush of yours, eh' Janice" tend
to be less than effective. Play the proper host. Hand out beverages,
engage in small talk, and wait until the time is right. Twenty minutes
will do. Then, simply exclaim "let's see some tan lines!!!", and your
party has begun. Who knows, if you play your cards  right,
you just may find yourself with a "Get Laid Party" on your hands. Which
is, quite rightly, the whole fucking point, now isn't it. Well, isn't
it?
Games: Twister fits in nicely at a Naked Party. Monopoly is not allowed
at such a gathering.
Music: Good music with a fast beat is essential to get those body parts
moving.
Underwear: Ah hell, don't even bother.
Drink: Strong alcohol is suggested.
Location: It's always a good idea to throw one of these parties in a
house where you won't be bothered by nosy neighbors, the shades can
be closed, and the heat can be cranked to 90°. |
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